bob-isms

I'm not sure if I've got this word for word, but this one can't be forgotten:

"You spend the first nine months of your life in a near perfect environment until someone who CLAIMS she loves you ejects you out. Then a total stranger slaps you on the back. After that you're just killing time while time is killing you!"

birdie dream

I had a dream last night that I lost Spivey in the house, only it wasn't really Machen, it was the art school where I take classes sometimes, only it didn't really look like that place either. Meanwhile I was signed up for 2 art classes that met at the same time, and I was very anxious as to how I would manage that, until I saw that the photo class had too many students and that they had asked Mike VG to teach it even though he didn't know anything about photography. So it was an easy decision to drop that class, except that George Clooney was in there and I actually had a nice conversation with him. Haha. But instead of going to my other class, of course I'm wandering the halls, trying to find my bird, but am being bombarded with people talking to me and asking me all sorts of questions. Then I find this long and narrow room that has bird cages with all sorts of birds lined up down the entire length of it. In fact, it's more like a never-ending hallway, but the bird cages are too small and the birdies are all just crammed in there and not taken care of very well. Still, no sign of Spivey. So I wake up with an empty feeling and am overjoyed to find that he's still in his cage.

questions

Why did my door slowly creek wide open at 5:30am this morning?
How is it that you can NOT want something, and yet want it at the same time?
Why do I love the smell of coffee, but not the taste as much?
Why do birds sing?
Why is it that the older I get, the more I feel like Bridget Jones?
In a world of Daniel Cleavers, Wickhams and Collinses, does Darcy really exist?
How is it that animals always seem to know what mood you are in?
Is Alias going to be worth watching this season?
What have I done to be blessed with such amazing and godly friends and family, who love me just as I am, and in spite of all of my shortcomings?
Why is Tiffany so indecisive, when God has sent her very obvious signs that she should go to Israel?

"goodnight moon" explained...sort of

A quick tap on the door. "Hey, let's go look at the moon!" One thing about living with people from all over the place, there is always reason for some sort of festivity...and right now with the beautiful harvest moon, it's time for the Chinese Moon Festival, complete with moon cakes and the like. And not too untimely for a nice cup of chai and a blog entry that I've been meaning to get to since the inception of "basilea"...

What exactly is this "goodnight moon" all about? Well, let me start off by saying that it represents many things for me...both my fears and my hope. As a child, I was plagued with many fears, both real and imagined, but I was especially terrified of the night (as Shivaree evocatively sings about in her song, Goodnight Moon). Even at a young age, I remember always looking up at the moon as I stared out the car window...a never ending fascination with how it followed me wherever I went, giving me a tangible connection to the God I often cried out to.

With most of my fears, I forced myself to overcome them in the most extreme sense, and came to love the sense of freedom found in the conquest of each fear...yet as I got older, these fears grew in different directions, some finally causing me to see that control was not the end game, but rather, trust. Trust that if I fall, I can still know that it was all a part of the Lord's plan, that it will somehow mold me more into his image, and glorify him in some way, a small stone added to the building of his kingdom.

It is my God who gives me hope in the midst of the night, and strangely now I love the night and can smile when I see the moon shining down on me through my window...and when I say "goodnight moon" it's an expression of trust that the Lord will be with me while I sleep, thankful that he has brought me through another day and that his grace will be abundantly available for the following daybreak. Not to mention the ways in which he has used the moon to speak peace into to my life, such as the stories I previously told from Albania and India.

At the same time, I can't wait until I can say "goodnight moon" forever, when:

...the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away...The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. (Rev 21:3-4, 22-26)

While we are still on this side of eternity, however, stepping outside of what we find comfortable can be excruciatingly painful...but if we always live in fear, how can we be called people of faith? Sometimes I want to escape, or scream, or go running, or call a friend to try and alleviate the pain and gain wisdom, but then I am reminded: this is what it means to be a woman of faith. Take it one step at a time and God will meet you there.

To quote John Piper from his book Don't Waste Your Life, speaking about risk in the life of a believer:

The bottom-line comfort and assurance in all our risk-taking for Christ is that nothing will ever separate us from the love of Christ. Paul asks, "Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword separate us from the love of Christ?" (Romans 8:35). His answer is NO! In other words, no misery that a true Christian ever experiences is evidence that he has been cut off from the love of Christ. The love of Christ triumphs over all misery. Romans 8:38-39 makes this crystal-clear: "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

On the far side of every risk – even if it results in death – the love of God triumphs. This is the faith that frees us to risk for the cause of God. It is not heroism, or lust for adventure, or courageous self-reliance, or efforts to earn God's favor. It is childlike faith in the triumph of God's love – that on the other side of all our risks, for the sake of righteousness, God will still be holding us. We will be eternally satisfied in him. Nothing will have been wasted.

Amen, and goodnight moon!

dear denise,

Please do not consume two lattes in one day as I cannot even handle one, even IF it was early in the morning (and even if it looked really pretty and tasted really smooth). Two lattes = at LEAST two shots of espresso, maybe four. This means LOTS OF CAFFEINE which you cannot handle. I thought you would have learned this lesson by now, but apparently you are still very thick-headed. Just thought I would let you know.

With Love,
Your Central Nervous System

blog fan

So...I have a blog fan. I don't mean someone that I already knew, or someone who knows a friend of mine who has a blog with a link to my blog, but rather someone who, as he said, just stumbled across my site and has been reading my blog...for the past 6 months! He came into the Bucks last night and said, "I think I read your blog." I know what you're thinking, this guy sounds like a stalker, but I can assure you, that's not the case. His admitting his regular readership was innocent enough and he happens to be a new WTS student (not that that guarantees anything), but Mike also told me that he's engaged, and I am usually a pretty good judge of character, so all of those things lead me to believe that for some hugely unknown reason, he just enjoys my blog even though he doesn't know me. I'm surprised that my writing has not deterred him from coming to WTS...but perhaps it is actually a good thing when a Charismatic does not negatively influence someone concerning a Reformed seminary...? Maybe not. I'll have to think about that one. Anyway, "T", since you're probably reading this, this one's for you!

spivey and other roommies

Spivey is so funny. The other day, I lit a candle that sits on a stand just below his cage. He kept looking at it and looking at it, and finally he tried to get closer to see what it was. He didn't want to fly, though, because it was too close and he would overshoot it, so he tried to climb down the dresser as far as he could, then slipped off, flew a quick circle around the candle and went back into his cage to stare at it from afar. I've never seen such curiosity from a bird before. So cute!

I'm still getting used to him as a new roommate too. When I come home late from work and switch on the light, he's already asleep, puffed up in a little ball, sitting in his swing, and he just looks at me with his sleepy eyes as if to say, "Mom, is it morning already?" I feel so bad for waking him, so now I try to quietly cover his cage and turn on a small light by my bed. It's amazing how even a little creature can change your life.

Speaking of roommates, it's that time of year again when Machen reaches its full capacity of students - both new and old. Tonight Tiffany comes in and she's the last to arrive. This year we have quite an assortment of people living in this old house, from every corner of the world! Nations represented among our 18 occupants: Romania, Taiwan, Brazil, France, Korea, Hong Kong and mainland China, Mexico, Nigeria, Australia, Japan and USA. States Represented: Florida, Georgia, California, New York and New Jersey.