hope

Have you ever come to the point where you have been just barely treading water for so long, and then you finally realize that there is absolutely no way that you can possibly get everything done, so you let the waters submerge you beneath the surface and you find out that, strangely, you don't actually drown? And then you might just get a glimpse of that fabled golden city at the bottom of the sea...you know, the one called "The Lord is my strength/provider/sustenance/joy." The amazing thing is, I'm not even being cynical. Financial difficulties? Medical issues? Future planning? Not to mention my 3 jobs and remaining 9 credits before the great and glorious Graduation Day (and of course, I've been out of town more in the past month than I have been in...) Well, I can only do what I can do, allow time for some very necessary R&R, and trust the rest to the Lord. Don't get me wrong, I realized a long time ago that I would never actually be able to do all of the work required for my classes, but I still feel the pressure to do my best...I guess I've just come to realize that doing my "best" doesn't mean cutting out everything else in my life just to make a decent grade. Honestly, as long as I learn a few things and pass all my classes this semester, I'll be happy. As far as all the other obligations in my life go, I'm still learning to just do what I can and be content with that...I think the hardest part is when others are dependant upon me for various things, or have certain expectations upon me, but I guess I am realizing more and more that there is only so much I can do in those circumstances as well.

Philip, in his usual flamboyant exuberance, declared, "Our Lady of Perpetual Hope is back!" upon my return from the Jr. High retreat. We got a good laugh out of that one, and I'm not exactly sure what inspired such a title, but it is my prayer that I can say with the Psalmist,

But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.

My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.

Psalm 71:14-15

iPod prayer

What have I been teaching these 36 junior high kids from Long Island at this retreat? Glad you asked.

iPod which art in Hollywood
Hollow be thy name
Thy music come thy will be played
In our ears as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily rhythm
And forgive us our bad singing
As we forgive those who badly sing against us
And lead us not into Britney Spears
But deliver us from Jay-Z
For thine is the kingdom
And the glory of your tunes
Now and forever more AMEN

-written by the kids of Arumdaun Presbyterian Church

happy national pancake day!

I don't think I have ever seen a group of Machenites awake and bundling themselves up at 7am on a cold winter morning, but when you say "free" and "pancakes" together in the same breath, it's enough to motivate any starving student...or even just a half-starving student. As one of the 2 drivers, I had the privilege of giving Charis a ride over to IHOP, who chanted in a sing-song voice, "It's National Pan-cakes Day..." and then when we got there, mumbled under her breath, "Hi, yes, we're here for our FREE breakfast, please."

Of course, it was probably pretty clear why we were there, but the waitress gave us all menus and the specials-schpeel as usual, while we all sat there with guilty looks on our faces. In order to cut the agony of us all going around the table and ordering the "short-stack of pancakes" one by one, I spoke up and said, "Uh, actually, I think we're each just gonna go for the short-stack," pointing to the sign with an apologetic smile. The funny thing is, she didn't even mention the free pancake deal to us, but when two middle-aged men sat down nearby, we could hear her explaining it to them.

And then Tiffany managed to get a napkin stuck to her shoe which made for a comical scene all the way through the restaurant and out the door.

After all of that, I remembered that I really can't eat that stuff - in fact I could only finish half of the short stack! But really, it's just a bunch of refined carbs and sugar...and it was enough to knock me out for a couple more hours before class.

So go get your free pancakes today! Up until 10pm at IHOP!
And happy Mardi Gras!
And happy birthday Wenonah!

looking forward

It is no secret that Mother Teresa has always been one of my heroes. She gave her life completely to the service of her Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, and she did it by touching the most untouchable people on the face of the earth; by caring for those who most people considered worthless. Her perspective on ministry: "God does not demand that I be successful," she said. "God demands that I be faithful." Yet the ministry that she started ripped around the globe in no time, inspiring thousands of others to give their lives in service, and drawing countless others to volunteer as they are able. I had the privilege to serve alongside of the Missionaries of Charity for one summer in Calcutta, India, and it was an experience that changed my life. Of course, I assumed that it would, but there was one component that I had not been prepared for: how amazingly selfless and humble the sisters were, from top to bottom of the mission (quite different from the horrid stories I had heard about the nuns at private Catholic schools when I was growing up). Unfortunately, I was there four years after Mother Teresa had already passed on, but I was surprised by the approachability of the women who had stepped into her shoes. Because I had brought with me a relatively large group of 14 people, the sister overseeing all of the volunteers would at times call me to ask our team to help with specific things. During these times, I was able to spend some one-on-one time with her, and though I was disappointed that I had not been able to meet Mother Teresa herself, I could see how her humility and love for all people had truly been passed on to those who came after her.

There is a world of difference between those who have spent the prime of their years in the service of the Lord and of others, and those who have lived their lives in service of themselves and their progeny (even in the name of "their ministry" or "their calling")...and I have noticed that this is most apparent in the personal character of those who are now inhabiting their so-called "twilight years."

Al Groves was nowhere near his twilight years when he passed on last week at the age of 54, but he already possessed this humility that I admire so. Even when he first learned of his cancer a year ago, he continued to serve and teach at the seminary as he was able, and he never stopped caring for others, praying for and ministering to them, up until his last conscious breath. His entire family, in fact, has made their trial a public testimony of God's grace upon their lives. Through their grief, they have suffered well, that is, though they believe the Lord is able to heal even the worst disease imaginable, they also believe that he is sovereign over all circumstances and that he still calls us to worship him in the midst of our sufferings. I didn't know Al very well, and I know that he was a sinner like the rest of us who needed Jesus as his Savior. But somehow he seemed to have reached the wisdom of someone in his twilight years after a lifetime of love and service for God, though a bit earlier than most. Ultimately, the Lord did heal him, for he is face to face with his Savior right now, free from all pain and earthly bounds, though perhaps years before we would expect him to be there, by human standards.

During my time in Orlando a couple weeks ago, I met a lot of "retired" missionaries who were still serving the Lord in any way they were needed; whether as a Board Member (man or woman) or cleaning toilets (man or woman), they did it with a smile. You would never know that most of them have spent 30 or 40 years in a remote jungle tribe somewhere. Granted, some of them are a bit eccentric by that very fact, still wearing the same clothing in the same style that they did 50 years ago...and sometimes a bit socially strange...so I may be even more eccentric and socially strange 50 years from now than I am now. That may be interesting.

One old couple, Bud and Edna, totally cracked me up. Though both pretty mellow and soft-spoken, was clear that they were still sweethearts, and they loved to rag on each other. "Yeah, we've been to a lot of countries," Bud said, "and that's not even including Texas." Edna rolled her eyes knowingly. "I'm from Texas," she explained. I'm sure that years on the field will put any marriage to the test, and give plenty of opportunities for growth.

Of course, I would also like to be as sharp as this when I am 91 years old. Listen very closely as he demonstrates how he can still WHISTLE the tonal language of the people group he served with years ago:



What an amazing guy! One of the former presidents of the organization, and he still travels to every training camp to meet the new members. He even joined in to play games with us:


Of course, the whole orientation was a great time and I met a lot of really great people. As you can see, my roommate and I got along really well:

And I coerced her and her boyfriend (who was practically our 3rd roommate) to do Pilates with me. They picked it up pretty quick!


I also had a chance to visit Dave and his buddies in Tampa, and went to his *gasp* emerging church! Will post more about that later.

and i didn't even see mickey

Yes, I've been in Orlando these past 2 weeks, by the way, and no, I didn't see any tornados this morning. Thanks Dad for the warning! It seems that tornados follow me around the country, but have never been able to locate me exactly (thankfully). I'll be home tomorrow (without tornados). Have much to tell. And many kisses for Spivey.